laurelhach:

using microsoft word

*moves an image a mm to the left*

all text and images shift. four new pages appear. paragraph breaks form a union. a swarm of commas buzzes at the window. in the distance, sirens.

stormthegalaxies:

So Donald Trump is staying down the street from where I live. And today was an unusually warm day and some lady, lord help me, some lady in the store I work at told me it was unusually warm today because the devil was here.

memeufacturing:

god: okay tiny animals youre ready to be in the world!!!
ants: yipee!! yay!!!
god: okay lets make the anteater now
ants: the what 

joshpeck:

me after a long stressful day at school

wigglyistough:

Me

shakeitoffs:

i hate myself for laughing so hard at this

jopara:

*googles number i dont recognize calling me instead of answering*

mockngjayis:

‘What are relationship goals’ - TheThirdPew

sarahbrightmaniac:

ask-20thesassyslendy:

jimmylanger:

WHO COMES UP WITH THESE

I JUST SCREAMED

What in the world…?

happyjared:

ALL DOGS SEE YOU AT YOUR MOST UNFLATTERING ANGLE WHERE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE TWELVE THOUSAND CHINS AND THEY ARE STILL SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF THAT THEIR ENTIRE BODY VIBRATES, HOW GREAT IS THAT?

suqarbagels:

If you can teach a dog the meaning of the word no, it shouldn’t be a difficult concept for men